Emotions & Options

The school year is about to start and soon I will be running across campus so as to not be late to class once more.  I’m excited, sad, nervous, and so many more emotions I don’t even know how I feel!

I’m about to start my senior year at Trevecca.  Part of me is beyond thrilled! I get to see favorite professors and good friends. Sophie and I have at least two classes together! It’s my last year, then I’ll be graduated and supposedly a real adult.  However, I’m also a little sad that I’ll be leaving good ol’ TNU.  It’s become a home.  I feel like I finally know where everything is.  I have my favorite study spots and I know where the cleanest bathrooms are.  (Can’t tell you because then I would face the risk that you’re the dirty bathroom fiend- and I would have just invited you into sacred, clean bathroom space.) I am so excited to be finished because I love accomplishing goals. And graduating has been a serious goal, but it will be a little bitter sweet.
Nervous is another word I would use to describe how I feel about going back to school and graduating as well. Everyone keeps asking if I have a job lined up, what the plan is, or what I am doing next. The honest answer- I don’t know! For so long the goal has just been graduate college. Now I have to make a “final draft” of all the “next step” goals I’ve been collecting over the years.  I have some big choices that lead down very different paths.
The obvious option is to secure a killer internship that segways into a career path in event coordinating. It’s an option I would enjoy.  It would be challenging and fulfilling. It’s what is expected of newly graduated seniors.  That’s what majority of my classmates will pursue.  But, then again, I’ve never fit in with the majority of my classmates.  By graduation I will have been married for two years to a best friend I will have known for seven years. I also will be blessed in that I will have zero student loans that will require paying off. This drastically opens up other doors that lead down a more maternal path.
Everyone knows I want a baby.  I knew I wanted a baby before I was old enough to know where babies come from. On my preschool worksheet while other kids wrote they wanted to be firefighters or rock stars, I wrote mommy. That has never really changed. (Sometime throwing in the occasional career path of “princess,” but currently that one is a little less attainable.) Having a husband who can support us, no debt to repay, and a great marriage opens the doors to pursuing that dream. I know it’s what I want the most.  I just don’t know if it’s God’s timing yet.
Another option, a secret dream of mine, is to pursue a yoga certification.  I think being a yoga instructor would be so fun! I find it so relaxing and beneficial. However, it’s time consuming and honestly, would it be silly to get a four year degree and then jump into a different program? I just don’t know what God has in store.  However, owning a yoga studio (maybe with a certain blonde friend of mine) would be the coolest! I would love to have a studio that incorporates the healing powers of yoga, but is openly Christian.
There are so many emotions and so many choices to be made.  I can guarantee you that there is some serious praying going on in the Cornell house this month.  (Feel free to throw us on your prayer list as well!) I guess at present I’m just going to focus on not stressing about it! Wish me luck.
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